


Just Us?

by Bingbingringring



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, I changed Denise to Aquamarine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-01-22 15:04:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12484396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bingbingringring/pseuds/Bingbingringring
Summary: Lapis finds herself stuck in the middle of a love triangle and eventually she'll have to come clean and decide who she really loves





	1. Stars and Scars

The stars were beautiful that night. Everyone of them. And as usual Lapis and Peridot were sitting outside gazing at them. Peridot had finally decided to stop chattering on about Camp Pining Hearts, much to Lapis’ relief. 

 

 

Although Lapis’ father did not approve of Peridots presence he still allowed her to spend the night at Lapis’ house. It probably had something to do with the fact that they were both very, very gay.

 

 

Peridot would often eat dinner with the Lazuli’s and Lapis’ father would glare at her all the way through. And Lapis’ mother would bombard Peridot with millions of questions about her plans for after college as if she had assumed the two had already started dating. But they hadn’t. They were friends. No more. No less. But still Peridot would answer with charm, and underlying humbleness, and would smile and be polite as she ate.

 

 

Usually, the two would hang out at Peridots house. Zircon was much more pleasant to eat with than Mr. Lazuli. And she loved Lapis, and would wink at Peridot every time Lapis mentioned being single around her. Lapis knew exactly why too. Peridot loved Lapis. Lapis had known for quite some time. Amethyst had mentioned it a few months ago and Garnet had agreed with her. Lapis began paying attention to Peridot more frequently after that. Paying attention to the way Peridot would stare at Lapis, and the way she would watch her in class. But Zircon Was out of town for business, and Lapis had decided to invite Peridot over that way she wouldn’t have to spend the night alone.

 

 

And now the two were lying out on Lapis’ roof that was right outside of her bedroom window. Her blue hair was blowing in the cold wind, and Peridot quickly scooted closer to her. There legs and shoulders touching as Lapis allowed Peridot to do so.

 

 

“You cold?” Peridot asked with concern.

 

 

“I was,” Lapis said before looking down at where they touched.

 

 

The two dipped into silence again before Peridot nudged Lapis.

 

 

“Look,” Peridot whispered she took to fingers like a peace sign, and brought them up to her mouth before breathing in and breathing back out making her breathe look like a cloud of smoke.

 

 

Lapis giggled before grabbing Peridots fingers and pulling the ‘cigarette out of them’ “That’s not good for you.” Lapis said seriously. Peridot arched her brow at Lapis and then nudged her before they both started laughing. 

 

 

“The stars are beautiful tonight,” Peridot whispered in awe.

 

 

“They always are.” Lapis said back quickly before looking up in the same direction as Peridot.

 

 

“Peridot?” Lapis asked.

 

 

“Yes?” she murmured but her face showed no sign of her paying attention.

 

 

“Can I ask you something?” Lapis asked seriously.

 

 

“Of course.”

 

 

“And you would never tell anyone?”

 

 

Peridot turned to her, “Of course.” She said with a serious face and serious tone.

 

Lapis glanced down at her hands, “Oh- never mind.”

 

“What?” Peridot said before grabbing Lapis’ shoulders and shaking her gently, “Tell me.”

 

Lapis shook her head and began twisting away from Peridots grip, “No!” she said before laughing and twisting again but to no avail.

 

 

Peridot’s hands snaked lower and began dancing across the skin of her abdomen. By then Lapis was a laughing mess, and her face was red with laughter, and the cold. She fell backwards and Peridot followed after her continuing her tickling spree across her skin.  
“Ok ok,” Peridot said happily, “Breathe.” 

 

She was lying between Lapis’ legs and her face was lit up by the light coming from the both the moon, and the light coming from Lapis’ bedroom window. She blushed at their compromising position and sat up from her.

 

 

“Are you going to tell me now?” Peridot said smiling smugly.

 

 

“Do you ever look out at the sky and wonder what it would be like to die?”

 

 

Peridot’s smile dropped from her face, and she studied Lapis, “Not really.”

 

 

“I knew you’d say that.”

 

 

“What?!” Peridot said with genuine confusion, “Did you want me to agree that I do that?” 

 

 

“Yes,” Lapis answered quickly, and stared over at Peridot, “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

 

 

Peridot seemed to be getting a little upset with the topic so Lapis decided to drop it and forget she said anything. 

 

 

Of course Peridot never thought that. She wasn’t like Lapis. She didn’t question her existence everyday. She didn’t know what it was like to hate the world and to hate everyone in it. She never allowed herself to do so.  
The only reason Lapis knew was because of everything she had gone through when she was a little girl. Her Uncle had sexually abused her several times, and he tried to burn her alive in his shack.

 

Lapis scooted close to Peridot again, and began studying the stars again. She felt Peridot’s eyes on her, but refused to turn to look at her.

 

“You okay?” Peridot whispered to her and Lapis felt her warm breathe against her cheek. 

 

Lapis nodded but Peridot knew better, she splayed her hand on the small of Lapis’ back and began rubbing in circles until Lapis was leaning her head on Peridots shoulder, and Peridot rested her head on Lapis’. They stayed like that in comfortable silence for a while before Lapis pulled away, “Lets go inside.”

 

 

Peridot seemed shocked but agreed to it soon after. And the two soon climbed back through Lapis’ bedroom window. Lapis went to her drawer and began changing into her baggy t-shirt, and stripped out of her jeans before climbing into bed. She tucked herself deeper into the blanket before looking over at Peridot.

 

 

She admired her. Peridot had always found a way to stay positive and hopeful. Although she didn’t know what it was like to want to die she knew what it was like to go through awful things. Her birth mother would whip her with horse whips and force her to do tricks for her druggy boyfriends. Eventually Peridot was taken away from it all; because she didn’t show up to her old school for a few days straight. And the teachers were beginning to get worried so they sent a cop over to her house and found Peridot in her room with multiple towels and t-shirts surrounding her left leg from the knee down. It wasn’t until they saw the blood and the part of her leg that was missing that they understood why they were there. Peridot had told Lapis the story many times. And Lapis loved it more and more every time. Not the fact that Peridots leg was sawed off by her own mother; but the way Peridot would tell it. Lapis would beg Peridot to tell it. And eventually Peridot would succumb and recite the story like a Speech she had to preform in front of the class for a project.

 

 

She would say, “And every once in a while through those hours my eyes would get blurry and my head would get fuzzy, but I’d force myself to stay awake. And I’d do that by staring out the window that was across the room, and I’d watch the wind blow the trees, and I’d try to focus on the noises the birds made, and I’d think of the dandelions when the wind blew. I would pretend that the pain in my leg wasn’t real, and that the blood on my sheet wasn’t there. Because I guess it made me feel like everything was…normal… And eventually I woke up in the hospital… and sometimes when I’d look down at my arms with the tubes, and my…leg…I’d wish I could be back in my bedroom looking outside again, because when I was in the hospital…that’s when I knew something had to be wrong.” Peridot would tell the story without any self pity. And Lapis would sit her head in the palms of her hands as she listened to the story.

 

 

Peridot pulled off her t-shirt. Her breasts were smaller than Lapis’ and her body wasn’t as toned either. But Peridot had surprising strength, and most of the time it surpassed Lapis’. She turned her back to Lapis before pulling off her bra. From here Lapis could clearly see the scars up and down her back from where the whip had ripped her skin apart. Just thinking if that type of pain made Lapis flinch. She let her eyes drop to Peridots artificial leg and smiled at it until she noticed Peridot was staring at her.

 

 

“What?” Lapis asked.

 

 

“You’re doing it again.” Peridot said smirking.

 

 

Lapis’ cheeks flushed, “Sorry.”

 

Peridots eyes smiled as she stared at Lapis, “ You really like this thing huh?” she said gesturing to her ‘leg’

 

“I love it,” Lapis corrected.

 

“You just like the story,” Peridot said before giving her a judgmental look, “which is really screwed up.” 

 

“Hush,” Lapis said before she pointed to the lamp that sat beside her bedroom door. 

 

 

Peridot went to shut it off before climbing into bed beside Lapis. She started unlatching her artificial leg and Lapis watched in awe.

 

Peridot layed on her back and Lapis leaned in to rest her head on her chest, and sat her hand on Peridots stomach. Peridot brought her hand up to Lapis’ and held it firmly in hers before Lapis pulled away. “Don’t” she mumbled angrily to Peridot. 

 

Peridot should know better. Lapis hates holding hands. Or any physical contact that wasn’t started by herself.  
Peridot dropped her hand to her side and put her other around Lapis’ frame. But made sure not to touch Lapis in any other way that could possibly seem to be more than platonic.

 

 

“Lapis?” Peridot whispered.

 

“Yes?”

 

 

“Its not-“ Peridot sighed, “Do you think our relationship is normal?”

 

Lapis was startled for a moment, “Yes,” she said without hesitation.

 

 

Lapis felt Peridot nod before glancing down at her hand that Peridot had just attempted to hold, “do-“ Lapis whispered before sitting up to look at Peridot, “do you think it’s not?”

 

Peridot moved her head to look at Lapis but remained flat on the bed and craned her neck so she had double chins as she looked at her, “Yeah!” Peridot said laughing nervously, “Duh….heheheheheh.” 

 

 

Lapis arched her brow at her before laying her head back on her chest and splaying her hand back on Peridots stomach. 

 

 

“Its not abnormal.” 

 

 

“No, of course not.”

 

 

“So? Why did you ask?”

 

 

“Its not… it’s nothing.”

 

 

Lapis tucked her head up under Peridots chin, “Goodnight Peridot.”

 

 

“Goodnight Lapis,” she whispered tenderly.

 

Lapis stayed awake as she usually did, and Peridot was sound asleep. Her breathing had evened out, and when Lapis looked up at her, her face was relaxed and overtaken with sleep.

 

 

She remembered their conversation. Their relationship being ‘normal’. Lapis frowned at herself. She had promised herself not to speak with Peridot about these things; not to mention she hadn’t really thought about having any kind of romantic relationship with anyone let alone Peridot. She had always allowed Peridot to get close to her. They had been through the same things.  
Lapis did love Peridot. She knew she did the day Peridot comforted Lapis from her first nightmare at a birthday party they both attended in 9th grade. They had stayed up all night talking about nightmares and Peridot’s leg. Lapis pulled the blanket up around Peridot, and the Result was Peridot moving in closer to Lapis.

 

 

Lapis stared at her hand on Peridot’s stomach. And then down the top of the blanket to the bottom where their legs crossed over each other. Peridot had always been a romantic; Lapis had known that too. Ever since Peridot had introduced her to Camp Pining Hearts, and ranted on and on about Percy and Pierre. And she would say extremely romantic things about how perfect the two were. She also knew by the way Peridot spoke to her. She would occasionally say indescribably romantic things to her.

 

 

But she never imagined Peridot would want anything more than what they had…but the thought of kissing Peridot….

 

 

Lapis sighed and climbed out of bed causing Peridot to groan from the loss of heat and contact. Lapis turned to her and watched her as she mumbled and squirmed around until getting comfortable in a different position.  
She sighed, and watched Peridot’s chest rise and fall with every breathe she took.

 

 

Her eyelashes were noticeable in this light. Usually they were so blonde that Lapis could hardly see them, but when they were Lapis could actually see a lot of them. And Lapis’ had loved that trait about too. She always had a weak spot for blondes. Unlike Lapis’. Hers were darker than anyone’s in there entire school. Her eyelashes were envied by every straight girl in school.

 

 

She took her shirt off revealing her bare chest and slipped on her blue hoodie from her closet, and then a pair of black sweat pants and a pair of her flip flops before opening her bedroom window.  
She had to get her mind off of Peridot. Usually if she thought about something for too long it only led to bad things.  
She decided it was time to head out.

 

And she knew exactly where to go.


	2. Blowing Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis meets a very interesting stranger, and gets a date because of it

When Lapis was finished climbing down from the window she made sure to be quiet, the smallest sound would wake her parents… or worse, Peridot. 

 

 

Lapis walked down the side of the road; occasionally looking back to make sure Peridot wasn’t nearby, and to make sure her parents didn’t notice. She would usually sneak out at night and head towards the end of the street to an unfinished dirt road that Lapis assumed was meant to be some sort of driveway at some point. She looked down the street a little further, and saw a figure walking closer to the crosswalk that connected Lapis’ neighborhood to the school district. She would go there to smoke, and to be safe she would take Peridot or her cell, but she left both back in her room tonight. She felt around her hoodie for her lighter and her cigarettes, before she ran head first into something. Shoving her to the ground, and eliciting a yelp from her.

 

 

“Ow!” Lapis yelled, “Hey!! Watch where you’re going dumbass!”

 

 

Lapis glanced up at the figure. They were at least 6 feet tall, and they looked as though they were the mix between a professional boxer and bear. They were wearing close to the same thing Lapis was, but instead of sweats they were wearing shorts, and a grey hoodie with the hood pulled up around their head, “Me?” the person said calmly, “You were the one who-“

 

 

The figure stared at Lapis up and down, “Do I know you?”

 

 

Lapis flinched. This stranger could easily be someone she didn’t want to see. A cop. A rapist. Her uncle. Lapis shrunk down into her hoodie.

 

 

“I don’t think so,” Lapis mumbled.

 

 

“No I definitely know you,” The figure said, before pulling off their hood, “Lapis?”

 

 

Lapis’ eyes widened, “Jasper?”

 

 

“Yeah,” Jasper said smoothly, “from gym. 3rd hour” 

 

 

Lapis didn’t know Jasper very well. She never really Paid attention to Jasper except for passing glances. She was the meathead girl in her gym class who could bench more than all the boys. And had anger issues to match. Although a burly girl: She wasn’t fat in the slightest just very, very fit. She had her long blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail, and her amber eyes were studying Lapis carefully. Almost like she was debating whether to fight Lapis.

 

 

“What’re you doing here? Don’t you live in that big house over by the school?”

 

 

“I usually head this way so I can smoke a few cigarettes without my parents knowing.” 

 

 

“Really?” Lapis said shocked.

 

 

“Oh,” Jasper said before pinching the bridge of her busted up nose, “Look I get it if you don’t approve of smoking, but I really don’t need a lecture about how bad it is to smoke two a da-”

 

 

“No!” Lapis said, “I do that too.”

 

 

“What?” Jasper said looking around, “Smoke?”

 

 

Lapis nodded, “Yeah. Up that way?” pointing down the street where the dirt road was.

 

 

“Yeah. You do too?”

 

 

“Yeah,” Lapis mumbled, “As often as I can.”

 

 

Jasper looked around before she motioned for Lapis to follow her, they started across the street to the dirt road. “Well…No one’s around. We could right here.”

 

 

“No,” Lapis said as she walked a bit ahead of Jasper, “I can’t.”

 

 

“Why?” 

 

 

“I live right there,” Lapis said gesturing behind her.  
“Oh,” Jasper said, “Duh.”

 

 

They began walking again, but with a strange tension Lapis couldn’t ignore.

 

 

“So…” Lapis said awkwardly.

 

 

“Did you know that William Shakespeare was probably gay?” Jasper said with real interest, “People have said that one of his poems was written to a man.”

 

 

 

Lapis laughed hard and turned to the burly women, “what part of that sentence is supposed to lure me into a conversation?”

 

 

“The gay,” Jasper said.

 

 

“What about it?” Lapis asked.

 

 

 

“Is it true?”

 

 

“What?” Lapis said looking around, “That- I’m- gay?!!?” 

 

 

Lapis groaned and covered her face with her hands, “everyone was spreading rumors last year!” she said with sadness, “and now everyone thinks that I’m gay!”

 

 

Jasper flinched and placed a strong hand on Lapis shoulder, “Look- I didn’t mean to- I thought- I mean I see you with that blonde” Jasper sighed, “Look I know what its like everyone used to spread rumors about me…”

 

 

 

Lapis shook her head, “You don’t get it!” Lapis mumbled, “I started the rumors about me!”

 

 

Jasper frowned before her eyes flickered with realization, “You asshole.” 

 

 

Lapis’ shoulders shook with mirth, as she laughed, “C’mon we’re almost there.” Lapis said as she pushed Jasper on the shoulder playfully.

 

 

Jasper shook her head at Lapis before following after her, “Are you always this good with first impressions?” 

 

 

Lapis glanced at her, “You call that a good first impression?”

 

 

“Compared to mine, yes.”

 

 

Lapis laughed again, “Well what about now? How would you rate your impression on me?”

 

 

Jasper stared at Lapis, “I’m not sure,” she glanced at Lapis’ hoodie, “You don’t seem like the type of girl to hold time with strangers close to you.”

 

 

“Do you know girls like that?” Lapis asked curiously.   
“Any girl with a pretty face.”

 

 

Lapis glanced sideways at her to reply, but before she could Jasper did. 

 

 

“I mean. Most pretty girls are like that, but you’ve got to be one of the prettiest girls I’ve seen…and you don’t seem like the type.”

 

 

In spite of herself Lapis blushed at the compliment, “What is my type then?” 

 

 

“I’m not sure. I’m still trying to figure that out.”

 

 

Lapis stopped and stared at Jasper, “Are you the type to hold the time you spend with strangers close to you?”

 

 

“Only the pretty ones, and as of right now; you’re at the top of list.”

 

 

Lapis blushed again before she walked quickly ahead of Jasper. 

 

 

Who was this girl? Hitting on Lapis in the first 10 minutes of meeting her. It didn’t make sense. And Lapis couldn’t decide if she should be afraid of the girl trying something or respect the girl for being so bold. But Lapis knew Jasper’s type. The type to sweet talk a girl until she got what she wanted from them. She had heard countless stories of Jasper with many girls. Lapis had to stop her. She couldn’t let herself be sweet talked by someone like Jasper. Especially when she had better company waiting at home.

 

 

 

“Here we are,” Jasper said gruffly. 

 

 

“I noticed, “Lapis snapped.

 

 

Jasper seemed shocked by Lapis’ snippy tone, but decided to ignore it. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it up and took a long drag of it.

 

 

She sat down near the ditch of the road where a tree had fallen over, and Lapis could feel her eyes burning into her back as she lit her own cigarette.

 

 

“Two a day?” Lapis murmured, “You don’t seem like the type,” she said in a mock tone.

 

 

Lapis could hear Jasper exhale the smoke from her cigarette before she heard a light chuckle.

 

 

“Maybe not,” Jasper replied, “What about you?”

 

 

“I’m not that type either,” Lapis said sarcastically.

 

 

Jasper stood and approached Lapis, “I know your type.”

 

 

Lapis was amused. Of course Jasper thought she knew anything about Lapis. “What is my type?” Lapis said getting annoyed with the amount of time the word type had been brought up between her and some random girl from school.

 

 

“You sorta just exist. And you question why too. You question the world and everyone in it. And you prefer spending your time out here at night. Because you enjoy staring at the sky and wondering what it would be like to not exist, and how good it might be.” Jasper whispered close to Lapis’ face. Lapis felt her face redden before Jasper pulled away and took another puff of her cigarette, and blew it lightly into Lapis’ face causing Lapis’ face to redden even more, “So maybe half a pack a day?”

 

 

 

Lapis bit her lip, “You forgot the part about how girls like me don’t hold time with strangers close to them,” she said flicking the cigarette out of her hand, “If you’ll excuse me.” And she turned to walk away.

 

 

“Go on a date with me,” Jasper said calmly.

 

 

“What?!?” Lapis yelled incredulously.

 

 

“Shh!” Jasper whisper-yelled, “I figured you out.”

 

 

“You know nothing about me,” Lapis said back.

 

 

“Prove it,” Jasper said, “prove me wrong. Show me I didn’t just figure you out in ten minutes.”

 

 

“No,” Lapis said stern. And walked quickly down the road to get back to Peridot quick.

 

 

But Jasper caught up to her fast, “One date,” Jasper said, “this Friday.”

 

 

Lapis stared at Jasper’s face, which suddenly had a softer look, “one date,” Lapis said softly.

 

 

“See you Friday. Right here 7 o’clock.”

 

 

Lapis nodded and the two walked back to Lapis’ House in silence, and Jasper pretended to try to follow Lapis back into her room, and tugged at her shirt. Lapis giggled but quickly shooed her away, and began climbing back up the side of the house.

 

 

She pulled off her hoodie and put her night shirt on, and then tugged off her sweats. She smelled of smoke and the cold night air, and shut her curtains. Peridot slept better with the windows open. She climbed on the bed from the bottom of it.

 

 

“Lapis,” Peridot mumbled sleepily, “what time is it?”   
“Shhh, go back to sleep,” Lapis whispered, “I just went out for a little while.”

 

 

Peridot lifted the blanket to make room for Lapis. Lapis smiled and climbed under it as Peridot waited for her to get situated and curl up at her side. But Lapis sat up to look at Peridot first, “I saw Jasper.”

 

 

“Yeah?” Peridot whispered tiredly.

 

 

“She asked me out on a date,” Lapis whispered back.  
Peridot suddenly seemed more awake, “what did you say to her?” she said a little bit louder.

 

 

“One date. This Friday.”

 

 

Peridot seemed a little upset by the news, but would never admit that to Lapis. She nodded and Lapis leaned down to her ear, “We’ll be back by eight….at the latest. So I’ll be back in time to star gaze,” Lapis whispered. Before lying down beside Peridot.

 

 

She felt Peridot nod before she tucked Lapis up in the blanket.

 

 

“Lapis?” Peridot whispered.

 

 

“Yes?”

 

 

“I didn’t mean to upset you earlier.”

 

 

Lapis went quiet, and the two laid in silence for a long time. Lapis drifted into sleep eventually and she could have sworn Peridot had already. But before she did she got to thinking.

 

 

To say tonight had been weird would be an understatement. She had 4 days until her date with the star athlete. And her best friend was suddenly starting to be seen in a new light.

 

 

Lapis lifted up to look at Peridot. Who was back in a deep sleep.

 

 

This isn’t going to end well. She thought.


	3. Perfect Timing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is sort of a chapter made specifically for Lapis' thoughts about Jasper to change... so yeah...
> 
> Also Peri has some sweet mixtapes, and Jasper's gonna have a GREAT sense of humor.

When Lapis woke up the sun was shining through the curtains, and the temperature had gone back up to the 100’s. That seemed to be the weather in Beach City. Ice cold at night. Burning hot in the day. That must have been the thing keeping the tourists away. 

 

 

The heat coming from the window, and from Peridots body was too much for Lapis to handle. She started pulling away, when someone busted through her bedroom door.

 

 

“Dad!!” Lapis yelled. As she covered her self with the blankets some more.

 

 

“IT IS A SCHOOL DAY AND YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE!”  
Peridot jumped awake at all of the noise, and covered her eyes from the sun peeking through the curtains. And sitting up, “Good morning Mr. Lazuli.” And gave him a shit-eating grin.

 

 

Lapis’ father glared at Peridot, “Hurry up, and get out of my house.”

 

 

Lapis’ father slammed the door, and Peridot turned to Lapis, “Why does he hate me so much?”

 

 

“he thinks you’re a bad influence.”

 

 

Peridot laughed before sitting up a little more, “You smell like cigarettes.”

 

 

Lapis grinned, “Oh hush,” before smelling her hands, “I do?”

 

 

“Yeah,” she said turning over to strap her leg back on, “You should shower.”

 

 

 

“It’s not like anyone cares about how I smell. Like, for example, if I smelled like limes… no one would bother to tell me.”

 

 

“mmmm,” Peridot said scratching her chin, “But I prefer it when you smell like ‘ocean breeze shampoo’”

 

 

 

Lapis climbed over to sniff Peridot, “You smell like limes.” She said teasingly. 

 

 

 

“What’s up with you and limes today?” Peridot said grinning, “Unless it’s some new kink?”

 

 

Lapis tackled her to the floor by her bed and held her wrists tight, and straddled her, while Peridot giggled and tried to fight her off “You of all people should know I prefer lemons over limes.”

 

 

Peridot grinned, “Lemon, Fanfiction.”

 

 

“BDSM LEMONS WITH PIERRE AND PERCY!” 

 

 

Lapis started wrestling her around and Peridot began laughing evily. Lapis was better at many things than Peridot. Physically. But when it came to there wrestling matches Peridot always seemed to win. But today lapis wouldn’t hold back, and she had the perfect strade-  
“Ow!” Peridot yelled.

 

 

“What?!” Lapis yelled worriedly.

 

 

“My leg,” Peridot groaned.

 

 

Lapis sat up, “I’m sorry.” Lapis could never be too rough with Peridot as Zircon had told her countless times before, although the pain in her leg was slight it was still there. And horseplay was very dangerous for her. Which was hard for Lapis sometimes because she was a very playful person to people she knew. 

 

 

Lapis remembered the first time they got in trouble for playing too rough. They were about 14 years old and Lapis and Peridot were playing tag outside of Aquamarines house for her slumber party. The first time they had ever met. Lapis had made it easier for Peridot by not going as fast as she could when she was it. And Peridot would run the best she could to tag her or get away from her faster. It was in the middle of summer so naturally Lapis had one of her signature crop top and short skirt combos on. And Peridot was wearing her favorite cargo shorts with her favorite flannel….so not much had changed since then. 

 

 

Lapis glanced over at Peridot, “Do you remember when we were little? And I hurt your leg?”

 

 

Peridot grinned with her eyes, “Do you have a specific day, month and year because that happens a lot.”  
“You know I never mean it.”

 

 

“Yeah I know. But the worst was when you first moved here. And went to Aquamarines sleepover.”

 

 

“I was just thinking about that.”

 

 

Peridot waggled her eyebrows, “That was the same night we shared our sleeping bag.”

 

 

Lapis head rolled back with laughter from the memory. She remembered that night so vividly. Mainly because Peridot was so sweet to her that night. Peridot let Lapis curl up on her side which was only the beginning of there sleeping trends. She laid there and rubbed small circles in Lapis’ back and talked to her about how she had nightmares too. But she never woke up from them. She just stayed asleep until they ended. It was also the night that Aquamarine decided she would tell everyone at school that Lapis and Peridot fingered each other at her birthday party. Mainly because she had a big crush on Peridot. And she was jealous that Peridot had her eyes on Lapis all day. 

 

 

“Yes. It was the same day we lost our virginity too, remember?”

 

 

Peridot grinned but blushed in spite of herself, “I don’t know why that even started. We were talking all night and our hands were above the blankets-”

 

 

Lapis interrupted her, “Aquamarine had a crush on you. Remember?”

 

 

“No,” Peridot said, “You say that about everyone.”

 

 

“Not everyone. Just the girls at school who obviously like you.”

 

 

“If she liked me so much, why would she attempt to destroy my social image?” 

 

 

“Because she was jealous!!”

 

 

“Of what?” Peridot asked, “you and I?” 

 

 

 

“All the girls are.”

 

 

“Jealous of you maybe,” Peridot said, “But they always have been.”

 

 

“Because I have you,” Lapis mumbled, “And they don’t.”  
“If you say so.”

 

 

Lapis stood and headed for her bathroom before turning to Peridot, “If you wanna run home and get some new clothes and then head back you can. I’ll see you at the bus stop.”

 

 

Peridot nodded, “Gotcha,” she said standing and walking to get her shoes, “I’ll see you soon Laz.”

 

 

…..

 

 

Soon Lapis was ready, and sitting down at the bus stop waiting for Peridot. She decided she’d wear her black drop-crotch sweatpants with her grey crop top sweater. And her white converse.

 

 

“Lapis!” Peridot called.

 

 

Lapis turned before scooting to her left a little to leave her room. Lapis studied Peridots outfit. She was wearing a white dress shirt with a bow tie and a sweater vest. With dress pants. And her hair was slicked to the side.

 

 

“Jeese,” Lapis said, “Why are you so dressed up?”

 

 

“This is my casual attire,” Peridot said looking at her outfit, “I wore this like two weeks ago, is it that bad?”

 

 

“No-no-no-no-no-no, of course not!” Lapis said, “Just a bit stiff.”

 

 

Peridot looked down at herself, “I feel comfortable.”

 

 

Lapis reached for Peridots bow tie, “Are you sure?” she said as she adjusted it.

 

 

Lapis looked into Peridots eyes and was soon met with Peridot’s signature shy smile that she seemed to give to her only. 

 

 

“I’m sure, “ Peridot said with affection, and grabbed Lapis’ hands before moving them away, “I actually need to tell you something.” Peridot grabbed her backpack. And pulled out her cassette player.  
Lapis laughed, “right now?”

 

 

Peridot turned to her and smiled, “Look,” she said, “I made an all new mixtape.”

 

 

Lapis smiled, “You could at least get new headphones. That aren’t those old shitty Sony things.”

 

“They aren’t shitty,” Peridot said.

 

 

“You’d think that someone so into tech would get some beats or something.”

 

 

Peridot scoffed before pulling out a jewelry box, “So-I-I-was-“

 

 

“Jasper?” Lapis said as she saw a large figure approach the stop. Peridot turned around to see if she was really coming, and she was. She was wearing a large orange hoodie that her blonde hair fell over her amber eyes that all wen together perfectly. She was wearing jeans with big holes in them and a pair of grey sneakers.

 

 

“Why is she here? She doesn’t even ride this route,” Lapis said.

 

 

Peridot turned to her, “You said she asked you on a date right?”

 

 

“Yeah, but-“

 

 

“that’s why.” Peridot said as she tucked the Cassette Player and Jewelry box back into her backpack.  
Jasper finally caught up to the two, “Hey Lapis.” She said walking around to sit on the other side of her.

 

 

Lapis frowned, “Why are you here?”

 

 

“To see you,” Jasper said proudly.

 

 

Lapis almost scolded Jasper for saying that. The only one allowed to say things like that to her was-  
She turned to look at Peridot who was seemingly interested in Lapis and Jasper’s conversation, but quickly looked away, towards the direction the bus usually came from.

 

 

“Were you going to show me the mixtape?” 

 

 

Peridot glanced up at Lapis, and her eyes flickered to Jasper who was studying the curve of Lapis’ back with hooded eyes before answering, “Uhum- Yeah, I was going to-”

 

 

But soon the bus pulled up completely destroying the perfect moment Peridot had planned.  
Peridot bit the inside of her cheek before slouching a little and reaching to rub her ‘knee’.  
Lapis lifted her chin, “You can tell me later tonight.”  
Although distressed by this Peridot nodded anyway, “Okay.”

 

 

The three quickly got onto the bus, Lapis first, Jasper second, and Peridot last.

 

 

Lapis sat in the seat near the middle and Jasper quickly sat beside her. Peridot stopped and looked over at Lapis.

 

 

Lapis opened her mouth to respond to Jaspers antics. But the bus driver yelled at them, “Sit down!! Damn!”  
Soon the other kids were yelling at Peridot to sit down.  
“My seats open!” 

 

 

The three turned to the voice and found Aquamarine, the most popular Junior, and a slut, in Lapis’ opinion, staring at Peridot. Her seat was right across from there’s  
Peridot turned to Lapis, but quickly sat beside her when the Bus driver yelled again. When the bus started moving again Jasper spoke up, “You excited for Friday?”  
Lapis glared at her, “Why would you do that to Peridot? You knew she sat by me. And you walked 3 miles to do it! What the hell is your problem?!”

 

 

Jasper leaned into her, “I just really like you.” She said honestly.

 

 

Lapis nudged her away, “You don’t know me.”

 

 

 

“But I want to.”

 

 

 

 

 

“you couldn’t wait till Friday?”

 

 

“No. I can’t wait.”

 

 

Lapis looked out the window, “You Realize I’m not going to have sex with you afterward right?”

 

 

Jaspers jaw dropped, “I just wanted a date, but if you wanna get all freaky then we can-“  
“No.”

 

 

The two sat for a while in silence, before Jasper spoke up, “You really like her don’t you?”  
Lapis didn’t need to ask Jasper to whom she was referring, she got asked the question thousands of times a day, “We’re just friends.”

 

 

“Well good,” Jasper murmured, “She’ll make a good wingman for you.” Lapis’ nose scrunched up at the thought. And then she heard a giggle come from the seat beside hers. She leaned forward to look past Jasper to see what they were doing in the said seat.  
Peridot seemed stiff and uncomfortable while Aquamarine practically threw herself at her. She was leaning into Peridot and drawing small circles in Peridot’s knuckles, “You know, I can read palms,” and with that she flipped Peridot’s hand over.

 

 

Peridot seemed very uncomfortable, but allowed Aquamarine to continue. Lapis glared at her, and as she did so she saw Peridot turn to look at her.

 

 

Lapis rolled her eyes before smirking. Peridot smiled, but had a worried look on her face.

 

 

Lapis leaned back, and Looked up at Jasper, “Don’t you have a wrestling match today?” 

 

 

“I do, but the others don’t.”

 

 

“Why’s that?”

 

 

“I made it into the tournament.”

 

 

“Oh Yeah? Well is the rest of the team going too?”

 

 

“Yah….Mainly for support. But none of them really like me.” 

 

 

“Are you a dick to them?”

 

 

Jasper let out a hearty laugh, “I can’t wait until our date. I think you might learn a few things about me.”

 

 

Lapis and Jasper continued talking about wrestling and rumors and a bunch of other crap Lapis didn’t care much for. And eventually the bus pulled up into the school. Jasper stood up, and put and hand out.

 

 

 

“I can stand on my own,” Lapis mumbled.  
Jasper arched a brow at her before stretching her hand to Peridot.

 

 

“Oh,” Lapis grumbled, and blushed.

 

Peridot took it and stood up quickly, “Thanks.”

 

 

Jasper nodded, and motioned Peridot on.  
Denise made it a point to follow close behind Peridot.

 

 

“Do you want to walk to class with me?” Jasper asked.

 

 

“But Peridot-”

 

 

“Okay,” Jasper said coolly, “Maybe another time then.”  
When Lapis and Jasper got off the bus they parted ways, and Lapis caught up to Peridot. She had a loose strand of hair that would not obey her whims. She repeatedly tried to slicked it back down.

 

 

“How was the ride with Jasper?” Peridot asked curiously.

 

 

“She’s smarter then I thought she was.”

 

 

“I suppose being on the wrestling team would take grades at least c and above.”

 

 

“No I mean…socially.”

 

 

Peridot glanced in the direction of Jasper, “It was pretty cool of her to help me out back there.”

 

 

“I think she did it to prove something to me.”

 

 

Peridot looked at Lapis, she desperately wanted to change the subject, “Look at this.”

 

 

Peridot put her hand out palm up to reveal a series o numbers with a winkie face and a heart followed by Aquamarines name. 

 

 

Lapis scoffed before looking at Peridot, “Gross.”  
“She asked me if you and I were dating.”

 

 

Lapis smiled, and licked her fingers, and began scrubbing the ink off, “We aren’t. But niether are you two.” And then Lapis moved to fix the unruly lock of hair.  
Peridot smiled sweetly at Lapis, “She’d be a downgrade from you.” 

 

 

Lapis looked to meet Peridot’s eyes, and Peridot stared back for a moment smiling before she looked down at her hand again.

 

 

The bell rang signaling the two had two minutes to get to class. Peridot turned to walk away, and Lapis watched her as she went.

 

 

“Ms. Lazuli,” a teacher said to her from behind her, “Let’s get to class shall we.”

 

 

“Lapis!” Jasper yelled.

 

 

“Let’s get to class shall we,” She said in a mock tone and offered her arm. 

 

 

Lapis nudged her away, but giggled at the look of disgust that the teacher had on her face.

 

 

“What do you have this hour?” Jasper asked.

 

 

“Art,” Lapis responded quickly, “What about you?”  
“Trigonometry.”

 

 

Lapis seemed shocked by that, but quickly pushed the shock away, “With Peridot?”

 

 

“Yeah,” Jasper said, “She’s the teachers favorite.”

 

 

“She’s everyone’s favorite.”

 

 

Jasper looked around, before burying her hands into her pockets.

 

 

“Can I sit with you at lunch?” 

 

 

“Don’t you have other friends?”

 

 

“You’re really pushing this hard-to -get thing huh?”

 

 

Lapis arched her brow, “Fine, eat lunch with me.”

 

 

“Better,” Jasper said impressed.

 

 

“Just don’t expect too much,” Lapis said as she walked away.

 

 

Jasper stood and watched her leave. Watching the curve of her back and the curves of her hips as they swayed, “I won’t,” she smirked.

 

 

“I won’t.” she mumbled again, as the final bell rang, “I’m late,” she said quietly.

 

 

“I’m late,” she mumbled again.


	4. She Loves You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis snoops through Peridots backpack. Aquamarine wants some sweet Peridot. Jasper's...."Strong"

The next few hours before lunch passed by a lot quicker than Lapis hoped. But she had to admit she was relieved too. The closer to lunch she got, the closer she got to seeing Peridot afterwards in History class.

 

 

She walked into the lunchroom to find Jasper waiting by the doors inside for her. She was leaning near the frame. Lapis stopped and looked at her before walking quickly to the line. And Jasper followed after quickly.

 

 

“What’re you getting?” Jasper asked.

 

 

Lapis picked up a tray, “I don’t know. I don’t even eat half of the stuff they serve.”

 

 

Jasper poked at her ribs, “Yeah, I can tell.”

 

 

Lapis snorted, “What about you?” she asked seemingly more interested in the conversation, “What’re you getting?”

 

 

Jasper perked up at Lapis’ sudden interest, “Probably whatever they give me.”

 

 

“Huh,” Lapis said between giggles.

 

 

“What?”

 

 

“You said you would eat what they gave you.”

 

 

Jasper arched a brow, “Is this some sick dirty joke? I meant I’d eat the food they give me.” She said but smiled in spite of herself.

 

 

“No. No. It’s just-“ Lapis said poking at Jasper’s stomach, “I can tell.”

 

 

Jasper’s jaw dropped open, but she didn’t say anything she simply just laughed and continued walking with Lapis.

 

 

Lapis led the way to her table in the corner where she normally sat with Steven, but he wasn’t there.

 

 

“Steven wasn’t at the bus stop this morning was he?” Lapis asked.

 

 

“No,” Jasper mumbled, “Isn’t he that kid whose hair is shaped like a rose?”

 

 

Lapis nodded.

 

“Yeah I see him over here with you everyday.”

 

 

Lapis took a bite of her food, but stared at Jasper questioningly, “hm?”

 

 

Jasper continued eating without any pauses, “I see him here with you everyday.”

 

 

“You see me and him over here everyday?”  
Jasper nodded.

 

 

Lapis arched her brow and was getting annoyed at there tedious game, “You watch me everyday?”

 

 

“Yes,” Jasper said without shame or hesitation.

 

 

“Should I be afraid?” Lapis said before a nervous smile spread across her face.

 

 

“Of course not.”

 

 

“Why were you?” Lapis said, “Why did you, I mean.”

 

 

“Why wouldn’t I?”

 

 

“Uhmm…” Lapis trailed off.

 

 

“You’re like the most intense and realest person in this whole school. Not to mention artsy and beautiful.”

 

 

Lapis looked down at her plate, “Maybe…” she said with doubt in her voice, “But that doesn’t explain why you watch me.”

 

 

“Isn’t it obvious?”

 

 

“Should it be obvious?”

 

 

Jasper rolled her eyes, “I heard you hard to talk to, but this is getting crazy….”

 

 

Lapis pinched the bridge of her nose, “You know what I think I changed my mind maybe you should g-“

 

 

Jasper cut her off quickly, “Do you remember Aquamarine's birthday party in 9th grade?”

 

 

Lapis stared at her, how could she forget the best day of her life, “Yes,” she said coolly.

 

 

“Do you remember when we were making those stupid tye die t-shirts and Aquamarine was picking on Sadie for her shirt, because some parts of her shirt had a brownish color, and she told her it looked like a dog shit on it?”

 

 

Lapis scrunched her nose and pursed her lips at the memory, “Yes.”

 

 

Jasper continued, “And then you looked at Aqaumarine, and said ‘Well your face looks like a dog shit on it, but your proud to wear it, so why should Sadie care?’”

 

 

Lapis smiled a little at the memory, mainly at the look on Aquamarines face, and the giggles that came from Sadie and the rest of the girls, “Yes,” she said again.

 

 

“And then Aquamarine started crying, and went and told her parents, and while she was gone you looked at Sadie and said, ‘How about we shit on her pillow?’” 

 

 

“Yes,” Lapis said again with a grin on her face.

 

 

“I’ve had a crush on you ever since.”

 

 

“Wow.”

 

“Embarrassing I know. And after that night I just noticed you more. You know?”

 

 

“Yes…”

 

 

“That party sucked.”

 

“Well yeah, but if it weren’t for that crappy party I wouldn’t have met Peridot.”

 

 

Jasper nodded and took a bite of her sandwich; it was clear she hated the direction their conversation was going, “Either way,” she said with her mouth full, “I thought that you standing up to her was the bravest thing ever.”

 

 

Lapis blushed and smirked flirtatiously, “And all it took was me talking about shit.”

 

 

Jasper blushed at the look on Lapis’ face, “two and a half years later, and I finally got a date.  
"

 

 

“You never asked before last night.”

 

Jasper shrugged, “I was afraid…”

 

 

Lapis smiled at her, and Jasper continued on, “Plus there was no way I could’ve insured you would’ve said yes.”

 

Lapis shrugged, “I might’ve…”

 

Jasper stared at Lapis, “Whatever. You never even noticed me until last night.”

 

 

“I noticed you,” Lapis said matter-of-factly, “I always thought you were strong.”

 

 

Jasper squinted, “Strong?” 

 

 

“Yeah,” Lapis said as she moved her tray away, “You were the girl on the wrestling team. I have been to a few of the matches before.”

 

 

“I know…I always tried harder when you were there.”  
Lapis grinned and sat her head in her hand; Jasper seemed to be becoming a much less unattractive person. The two stayed quiet for a while. As Lapis studied Jasper’s features. 

 

 

She had freckles sprinkled all around her face, and her blonde hair swept down over her shoulders, and her amber eyes were focused on her lunch. Lapis saw a small scar up her neck along her collar bone.

 

 

She looked back up at her, “I remember coming to your mom’s flower shop when I was younger,” Lapis looked around, “My uncle was buying some for me.”

 

 

Jasper’s face tensed and her eyes flickered to Lapis’, urging Lapis on, “She would sit inside of the shop, and show me the different flowers she had and tell me her favorites…I remember looking out the window, and seeing you. You were strong enough to lift two bags of fertilizer over your head.”

 

 

Jasper’s face relaxed, “I remember that,” she reached up to Lapis’ face and touched her cheek with her finger, “You had a bruise here.”

 

 

Lapis looked down and cleared her throat. Jasper took this as a sign to shut up. So she did, and the two ate peacefully for the rest of lunch; Well Jasper did anyway.  
It was a long while until Jasper spoke up again, “You know you can talk to me about it.”

 

 

“I can’t….” Lapis said with the distrust she felt for Jasper palpable in her tone, “I can’t talk to it about anyone.”

 

 

Jasper grabbed her cellphone from her pocket, “Well if you want to; I have a way to make it easier,” she handed the phone to Lapis, “Your phone number.”

 

 

Lapis took it and typed it in quickly before handing it back to Jasper. 

 

 

The bell rang dismissing them from 3rd lunch. Jasper stood and grabbed her and Lapis’ tray, “I’ll call you.”

 

 

Lapis nodded, stood and then headed off to class. She was almost overjoyed to hear it so she could see Peridot. Especially since she had just had a conversation with someone she barely knew, and about something rather personal. She pushed those thoughts away quickly, and focused on getting to History. Which seemed to be a further walk than usual.

 

 

When she finally walked into class, she saw Aquamarine hunched over Peridot’s desk, giggling while Peridot talked smiling up at her. 

 

 

“Peridot,” Lapis said as she walked up to them. Aquamarine looked at her and then back to Peridot before she walked away.

 

 

Lapis watched her go, “Why is she all over you today?”

 

 

Peridot looked up at her, “We just have some classes together. So I’ve been walking with her to class.”

 

 

Lapis raised her eyebrows, “Oh?” and she bit her tongue as jealousy coursed through her.

 

 

“Yeah,” Peridot said before her voice dropped to a whisper, “But she’s not as smart as you. I feel like I lose brain cells when I talk to her.”

 

Lapis grinned, “I guess that means you don’t like her.”

 

 

Peridot grinned, “Heh…She’s not bright, but she’s got a few things going for her.”

 

 

"She’s not going on a date with Jasper Friday night" Peridot thought.

 

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful except for Aquamarine glaring at Lapis when Peridot walked with her instead. Which seemed to improve Lapis’ day tenfold. And when the bell rang to dismiss everyone for the day Lapis almost leapt with joy. 

 

 

The bus ride reminded Lapis of Jasper and Aquamarine, and Jasper’s confession of her crush on Lapis. Which led to her to think about the old flower shop. She turned to Peridot who had been sitting peacefully and watching the houses of the people they dropped off.

 

 

Lapis wanted to tell Peridot about what Jasper had told her today, but a part of her felt guilty every time she told Peridot about someone who was interested in her. Just like when Peridot spoke about other girls; it always made her jealous.

 

 

And then Lapis’ mind wandered back to Peridot and her the night before. Peridot asking her if she actually thought their relationship was ‘normal’.

 

 

To Lapis no relationship she had has ever been nor will ever be normal. And Peridot was the closest relationship Lapis had to normal. But Lapis had to admit there were things they did that no ‘normal’ best friends would do. Like sleep together in such a compromising position, or be so physically intimate to actually feel no shame stripping down to nothing in front of each other. Or how they wouldn’t playfully and jokingly flirt like best friends do they would be serious. And Lapis had been told many times by many different people that Peridot had romantic feelings for her, and several other people who seemed confused at the fact that they weren’t already dating.

 

 

The bus stopped at Peridot’s house and they both got off. The bus driver gave them a simple wave and a ‘goodbye’. He used to get onto them for getting off of the bus at the wrong stop. But eventually stopped because it happened everyday. 

 

 

When they finally got into Peridot’s house , which was ‘Zircon free’ as Lapis called it, they headed straight for the living room.

 

 

Lapis dropped her bag on the floor, and Peridot was a bit more careful when sitting hers down. Lapis flopped on the couch and stretched, “mmmm,” she said curling her toes a few times, “I am so sleepy.” 

 

 

She threw her arm across her face, “What about you Peridot?”

 

 

Peridot stood with her eyebrow arched, and a smile on her face as she looked at Lapis, “Not really.”

 

 

Lapis sat up, “Can we go to your room? Pleassseee?”

 

Peridot laughed, “not yet! It’s only 3:30!”

 

 

“Are we staying here tonight?” Lapis asked.

 

“Unless you want to go to yours.”

 

“Nah. Dad never gives us a good morning.” 

 

Peridot layed down on the couch. And Lapis curled up beside her, “So, what is it today? Camp pining hearts? Or binge watch old Cartoons?”

 

 

Peridot glanced down at her, “We can’t until after sunset.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Lapis said as she sat up her face inches away from Peridot’s and her hair brushing against it, “So…how was your day?”

 

 

Peridot shrugged, “It just got a lot better,” she said as she tucked a few stray hairs behind Lapis’ ear, “And yours?”

 

 

Lapis sat her head back down on Peridots chest, “Same old, same old,” she said struggling not to tell her what Jasper had said today, and how much their conversation had bothered her. They dipped into silence. 

 

 

That had become their schedule since they became inseparable, They would go home and talk and eat and finish homework, and then head outside to watch the sunset, and then come back inside watch tv eat and talk some more until the stars came out.

 

 

Peridot slid away gently, and walked to her back pack. She sat in the chair near it, and Lapis heard her rummage through it before it went quiet. 

 

 

Lapis opened her eyes a little bit to look at Peridot, and saw her rotating something around in her hand and staring at it in deep concentration. 

 

 

She seemed both anxious and determined in a way Lapis had never seen her before, and it was both thrilling and scary.

 

 

“Peridot?”

 

 

She looked at Lapis, “Yes?”

 

 

“Are you okay?”

 

 

Peridot grinned before tossing the object she was twirling through her fingers back into her bag, “Never better….Lapis there’s something I really need to tell you.”

 

 

Lapis sat up a bit more, “You’re not coming out of the closet are you?” she said with a sly smile.

 

 

Peridot grinned and shook her head with a small laugh, “Very funny,” she stood and walked over to Lapis and sat beside her, “I wanted to tell you sooner, but I’ve been so….afraid, but Jas-”

 

 

“I’M HOME!!!” Zircon yelled as she walked through the front door, “I gotta admit that was kind of nice… getting out of Beach City for a while...”

 

 

Lapis leaned forward a bit to look at Peridot, “You were saying?”

 

 

Peridot groaned, “Later.”

 

 

“Peridot,” Zircon yelled from the kitchen, “Come help me bring in this stuff.”

 

 

Peridot sighed, “Okay!” she turned to Lapis, “I’ll meet you upstairs.”

 

 

Lapis nodded and went to go grab their backpacks as Peridot went outside to help Zircon.

 

 

She easily picked hers up; she never carried much anyways. And when she went for Peridots she noticed it was still open, an heavy. She felt a small amount of curiosity flicker through her. What was it that Peridot was holding? Why was it so interesting? And then she remembered the jewelry box from that morning. She gripped the dark green bag by the strap, and thought about her options. Lapis wasn’t one to ever think about her actions beforehand, but right now didn’t seem like the time to be impulsive. Although the worst that could happen is Peridot or Zircon coming in and seeing Lapis going through her backpack, or worse then that…the small box was meant for her. And she revealed something that Peridot wanted to reveal herself  
Lapis walked over to the living room window, and peeked through the curtains. Peridot was rustling through some boxes in the back of Zircons car, and Zircon was leaning against the car facing Peridot. By the look on Peridots face they were in the middle of a serious conversation, which meant they wouldn’t come in for a while. 

 

 

She slowly walked away from the curtain, and quietly went back to Peridots backpack. She sat on the loveseat and placed it on the ground between her legs. She opened it up further. Why would Peridot put the jewelry box in the biggest pocket? She moved around some binders and papers until she found a small blue box laying right side up. She licked her lips, and tried to give this situation a second thought. But it didn’t work; every negative outcome she could think about was shoved to the back of her mind. If the object in question was what Lapis thought it was she could easily figure out a way to make sure Peridot didn’t ever show it to her. But she could be wrong. It could be something Peridots birthmother left behind, or some sort of abstinence ring, and if it wasn’t anything other than what Lapis thought it was; she would be greatly disappointed. And then she thought about how upset Peridot would be…

 

 

She reached into her backpack and grabbed the small box. She studied it, and spun it in her slender fingers. It looked like it had been handled thousands of times. It looked like someone had frequently twirled it through their fingers. It was in no way dirty but up close Lapis could clearly see small indentions from being handled so much.

 

She heard the door open, and the sound of Zircon and Peridot’s voices flooded the house. She quickly tossed the box into the bag and placed it back on the ground where it was. 

 

 

“She was so smug and conceited. I wanted to kick her ass,” Zircon said.

 

 

Peridot let out a laugh, before responding in a quieter voice, “Mom I have to get upstairs.”

 

 

“Oh…all it takes is some girl, and you never want to spend time with me.”

 

 

“Mom!” Peridot grumbled, and Lapis knew that by that point Zircon had trapped Peridot in a hug.

 

 

She tip toed up the stairs, and heard only bits in pieces if what sounded like kisses on cheeks, and embarrassed groans and gasps for air by Peridot.

 

 

She slowly opened and closed Peridot’s bedroom door before walking to the bed and collapsing onto it. She let out a sigh, and rubbed her face. Anxiety ran all through her body at the thought of her almost getting caught.

 

Peridot walked through the door and seemed to be a little happier than she had been before.

She plopped down on the bed beside Lapis, and folded her hands behind her head.

Lapis cleared her throat, "You had something to tell me?"

Peridot's ears turned red, "I uh. Well...I," she breathed deep, "Okay....Just let me get my bag."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K so not the strongest chapter. But the point of the situations Lapis is being put into is to lead her to question her relationship with Peridot. So hang in there. It will get fluffy soon


	5. I Love You...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis is kind of a very manipulative person. This is how I'm showing it. Sorry :/

Lapis sat quietly on her hands as Peridot watched rummaged through her bag. She knew what it was, but was still very nervous. How would Lapis tell Peridot? How would she let her down easy without destroying their relationship completely?

 

 

Peridot seemed to have found it , and turned to face Lapis quick enough to successfully hide it behind her back unseen. Lapis eyed Peridot as she walked closer to where she was sitting on the bed. “Ta-Da!” Peridot yelled as she threw her hands out in front of her.

 

 

Her cassette tape. Lapis flushed with color. What the hell was this? She got her a fucking mix tape. Lapis had to hold back her anger for a second. Where’s the jewelry box? She peeked around Peridot, “Is that it?”

 

 

Peridot’s eyes widened and she stuttered a bit, “Y-yes..Wha-Were you expecting something else?” Peridot asked as she rolled her weight on the balls of her feet.

 

 

“No! No of course not this great,” she said reaching for the eject button. 

 

 

“Actually,” Peridot said “I was hoping you’d listen to it now.”

 

 

Lapis’ hands dropped from hers, “What?” Peridot hooked the headphones around Lapis’ head and hooked the tape onto her belt loop.

 

“What are you doing?” Lapis asked.

 

Peridot placed her hand on Lapis’ hip, “No,” Lapis said as she gripped her hand, “No Peridot I can’t.”

 

 

“Sure you can. I’ve seen you dance before.”

 

Lapis blushed, “That was once at a birthday party with Steven.”

 

“You still did. And you can,” Peridot said sly.

 

Lapis eyed the window. She could leave now. Not speak to Peridot. Punish her…But for what? Trying to dance with her? To be honest Lapis was more upset by fact that Peridot didn’t confess her true feelings, but somewhat thankful too.

 

“Fine.” 

 

 

Peridot grinned happily, and intertwined her free hand with Lapis’. The new mixtape was some kind of romantic one. Lapis could tell because she put some Elvis Presley on it. Which is the only artist Peridot finds to be truly the correct type to play in romantic situations.  
Peridot began slowly swaying to the music before rocking them back and forth faster and faster. Lapis giggled, and sat her hand gently on Peridots shoulder which caused her to slow again. Not on the beat of the music, simply because she couldn’t hear it, but still slowly.

 

 

Peridot was a good dancer, her parents had taught her when she was young.

 

The music had begun to overtake her senses. It was strange, but she supposed it had the same effect on her that it had on drunk people in clubs that would grind and bounce all over each other.

 

“Lapis,” Peridot said slowly.

 

 

“mm?” She responded.

 

“I have something else I need to tell-” 

 

“Shhh,” she let go of Peridots hand and put it on her shoulder so that the only thing between the two of them was the headphones and the cassette tape, “Let’s just dance.”

 

 

Peridot sighed into Lapis’ hair, “Okay,” she grumbled defeated as she put her now free hand on Lapis’ hip.  
Suddenly Lapis shoved her away, “That’s enough.”  
Peridot pulled her in closer to her body, “Peridot,” Lapis said in a warning tone.

 

 

She gripped her hips before releasing them, “we didn’t even finish the song.”

 

“So?” Lapis said annoyed as she gripped Peridots hands and pulled them away from her.

 

“So we hardly danced,” Peridot concluded. Lapis took the headphones off and looked over at Peridot and gave her a fake smile, “So what? Why do we have to dance?”  
Peridot snapped her mouth shut, “We don’t have to. I just-“

 

 

“Well then we’re done. It’s over. Homework?” Lapis asked.

 

“I didn’t even get to-“

 

“Peridot its over. We’re done here.”

 

Peridot seemed hurt, “Why do you pretend this is normal?”

 

Lapis rolled her eyes, and let a small breathe of air escape her mouth, “What are you talking about?”

 

“This. Any of this. Us. You. Me,” Peridot gestured to the space between them before heavily exaggerating, “US!”  
“It is normal!” Lapis shouted.

 

“What is?? us cuddling? Hugging? You holding my hand? Us slow dancing? Showering together?” 

 

“Yes,” Lapis said her face turning red.

 

“How’s that?” Peridot asked angry.

 

“Because!” Lapis yelled, “Because it has to be.”

 

“Don’t you trust me?”

 

“Of course I do,” Lapis said calmly, “Now I’ve had enough. Let’s stop. I don’t want to fight.”

 

Peridot stood in the center of the room. She was hurt Lapis knew. She wanted to dance and confess her love, and Lapis do the same and end it all with a kiss. But Lapis couldn’t. She’d spent so much time building a wall between everyone and herself. Although Peridot could work around it, it was still there.

 

“Okay,” she said with pain in her voice palpable, “I’m sorry.”

 

Lapis looked up at her, “Don’t apologize,” she said as she stood next to her.

 

“No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of that,” Peridot was flushed in embarrassment. It turned out she had confessed her feelings, but was rejected in a much more painful way than she thought she would’ve been.  
“Will this change things between us?” Peridot asked. Lapis knew this was her cue to leave. Things were different now. She needed to leave. But the same question that had been running through her head all day appeared again. Does she love Peridot?

 

 

Lapis lied, “No,” but there was no way in hell she could stay here. She needed to leave.

 

Peridot seemed skeptical, she swayed from leg to artificial and stared at her thumbs. 

 

“So you said something about homework?” Peridot asked but her voice was shaking. 

 

“Yes,” Lapis gave her a fake smile.

 

“Okay,” she said laughing a bit but it sounded more of an attempt not to cry.

 

They sat quietly on Peridots bed, and worked on Math. Lapis could tell Peridots mind was somewhere else. Usually she was on the ball when they did this.  
When they finally got settled down, and decided to go to bed. They were dressed and ready but Lapis decided she couldn’t do this tonight.

 

She glanced at Peridot who had a hurt expression on her face, “Umm. Actually I should head out.”  
“Oh?” Peridot whimpered, “Well I… Y’know I didn’t mean to make things weird.” 

 

“Oh yeah. I know. Its just…y’know. We uh…you said that the whole sleeping together made things abnormal.”  
Peridots face flushed with color, “I meant for other people who were looking for a serious mmm thing with someone.”

 

“So its weird for you?” Lapis arched a brow. Implying what Peridot meant by ‘something serious with someone’ was her looking for more with Lapis.

 

“No. No of course not! I mean I’d rather do it than not.”  
“So it is normal?” Lapis said. Lapis wasn’t going to leave. She knew that. But Peridot didn’t. Shw used that as a way to make her agree that their relationship was normal. Lapis knew Peridot would do anything to keep her beside her. So this was Lapis’ way of ensuring a fight wouldn’t happen again.

 

Peridot looked at her knowing full and well what Lapis was trying to do, but she knew even more that she couldn’t sleep without her.

 

Well Peridot could sleep fine without her but didn’t want to. Lapis was the one with the problem with sleeping without Peridot. Peridot would never admit to knowing that though she knew Lapis would be stubborn enough to never sleep with her again.

 

“Of Course,” She said and lifted the blanket up for Lapis, “It Always will be.”

 

Lapis sat her head on Peridots shoulder knowing full well she won, “Promise?”

 

Peridot didn’t want to answer. She knew Lapis would use this against her later. Later when Peridot wanted more. Later when Peridot wanted her. Lapis tucked her head up under Peridots chin, and laid her hand on top of her stomach. Peridot wanted to reach out and grab it. But she remembered the fit Lapis had last night. She wanted to tell Lapis she loved her. She needed to. It had been far too long. But the rejection she received was enough to let her know Lapis did not requite her affections.

 

 

Maybe it was time to move on. Find someone new, but Lapis would still need her, “Promise.”


End file.
